Love in Silence

Crawling through
The open window
Taste the evening's danger
Lingering lights
Line the door
They hold their breath and wait for her
The coast is clear
They slither into bed
Without a single sound
Love in silence
Through the night
A secret, never found.

hahaha

"you're a drug, kiddo."

sweetest thing ever said:

"It's like, I'm never gonna donate my kidney, just in case she ever needs it."

Accent

It's funny how I can barely understand what you're saying, but I somehow know exactly what you mean.

The Opportune Moment

It's truly an art to be able to pinpoint that opportune moment that can mean one path or another. To be able to come to the realization before it's too late is almost unhuman. It takes pure intuition and perception to see such a moment before it's passed. What a wonder to think that five seconds of your day can change the direction of your entire life, and perhaps even the lives of others. This is a fragile universe that we live in.

List of things to do before December 21, 2012

1) Travel/Live in Europe.
2) Play her song.
3) Skydive.
4) Bungee Jump.
5) Purchase a motorcycle.
6) Purchase a sailboat.
7) Purchase a shotgun.
8) Make love.
9) Fuck.
10) Live on my own.
11) New Year's eve in Times Square.
12) Visit Japan.
13) Write a book.
14) Plant a seed.
15) Visit the West Coast.
16) Visit South America.
17) Snowboard.
18) Surf.
19) Visit Hawaii.
20) Attend a university.

to be continued...

All I need

I'm the next act,
Waiting in the wings.
I'm an animal,
Trapped in your hot car.
I am all the days
That you choose to ignore.

You are all I need.
Your're all I need.
I'm in the middle of your picture,
Lying in the reeds.

-Thom Yorke

Mom

There is nothing more intimate than slow dancing with your mother on her birthday.

Fear

Why is it that people fear so much? We worry about the silliest, most irrational things at the silliest, most irrational moments.

What if I lose control and fall into the canal?
What if I never see him again?
What if someone's waiting in my room?
What if this is really it?
What if I'm too late?
What if she doesn't love me?
What if? What if? What if?

What if you just breathe, count backwards from ten, and tell yourself:

"Everything is okay."

Even if you don't believe it, just keep saying it until you do. It didn't seem so hard before when you were freaking out about that other thing...

Just breathe. Deep, slow breaths.

Breathe.

Mushrooms

I recently stole a blue ceramic mushroom off of the front lawn of one of my stops on my work route, with the intention of giving it to my high school history teacher. I've realized what a heap of bad karma this has most probably gained me, and I've decided to repaint and return the mushroom to its rightful color and home respectively. I will also leave an apology letter along with the mushroom explaining why I robbed its owners of it, and sending my condolences to their ceramic frog--for its short lived stand-in on the mailbox garden.

I really am sorry :(

Reacting

Human reaction is not simply just an instant reflex, or at least it doesn't have to be. Us humans, we have the gifts of logic, reasoning, and patience to help us calculate our "reactions". Unfortunately, not all of us have mastered these gifts, so we let our rash thoughts become rash words, and rash words become rash actions, and then who cleans up the mess?

The Afterlife

I was drving in my car today thinking about death when i thought up this crazy theory:

What if when we die, the way our "spirits" carry on is through our memory in our own minds. Now imagine we were also preserved in the minds of the people that knew us. Why not go further and say that the memory of the mere sight of us in the eyes of a stranger was enough to keep us in existence somewhere out there. Then you would have to believe that human thought creates existence. Well, wouldn't you agree? I mean, think about all of the things we see today that human thought has created. This to me demonstrates the one universal human superpower: the ability to make what we think and what we live one in the same. The laws of attraction... It is these laws in combination with the law of conservation of mass and energy that has led me to this theory.
Now, imagine your distorted image in the eyes of that stranger on the boardwalk... you may not look like yourself at all in his eyes, but you're nonetheless still you in that moment, so your consciousness channels into that moment and lives it again, in a sort of dreamlike reality. Imagine if that supernatural human power carried on into the afterlife. Imagine you could channel your consciousness to whatever memory you wanted, whether yours or your mother's, or your best friend's, our your husband's? Imagine it was an endless dream of dreams, and it was up to you to take the helm and journey through the stream of consciousness.

I wouldn't mind that. Sounds like fun.

My Love Affair

For a whole year straight she captivated me, always keeping a grip just tight enough to softly, sweetly pull me back. every. time.

At first, we only flirted innocently. Exchanging glances. A little peck hear and there.

Soon, though, it began to escalade. Our moments together became more heated, more intense. I could smell the passion. This was no game anymore.

Little by little, she began to tip the scale, away from the light and into my head. She had a hold on me like no other.

As the white nights wore on, she mesmerized me with the sweet nothings she whispered into my veins.

One night, she tried to kill me... send me to hell...
She started with my heart, clenching my veins tighter and tighter. I was short of breath, struggling to work my lungs. My arms and legs may as well have not been there. My face became cold and numb as the light began to fade. Here comes the blackness, I thought, that eternal room... shivers ran down my spine... I felt as though I had been plunged into antarctic waters with cement boots. Then, she finally set me free, a trembling puddle of blood and tears, lying on my bedroom floor.

But I will always love her.

Here's the thing,

I appreciate your judgments and your criticisms on every goddamned thing I do or say or even think about. The venom you pour into my ears is lovely, really... but I've got one question:

Who the fuck asked you?

One Last Dream

Sleep.
Endless repose.
Light shimmers
As the doors close.
The finish
Of the final chapter
Of your own tall tale.

Undeniably Infinite

Genuine

Main Entry: gen·u·ine
Pronunciation: \ˈjen-yə-wən, -(ˌ)win, ÷-ˌwīn\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin genuinus innate, genuine; akin to Latin gignere to beget — more at kin
Date: circa 1639
1 a : actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character
b : actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author
c : sincerely and honestly felt or experienced
d : actual, true
2 : free from hypocrisy or pretense : sincere
synonyms see authentic



maybe one day.

Rainy days...

"...and I know the future's cloudy and grey. Record like mine, give up or go gay. You're looking down at me with blue and black eyes, spitting down a storm from purple night skies." -Max Bemis of Say Anything

Hi

I've decided to start up this blog as a way to sort of vent and relate to the world about certain things. Hopefully you understand me, but if you don't, I don't mind... Thanks, and enjoy.